Managed Perfection

“Tell the truth, to everyone about everything, then live your truth, in every moment and in every way, and you will be happy forever in your heart, for truth makes the spirit soar, truth sets the mind free, truth opens the heart, and truth ignites the passion and releases the love of the soul” ---from Happier than God by Neale Donald Walsch


In her delightful novel, “Keep Your Mouth Shut and Wear Beige,” Kathleen Gilles Seidel tells the story of a woman coping with divorce, her son’s upcoming wedding and her ex-husband’s significant other. To Darcy, our heroine, the SO seems…well…perfect. She runs her own business, selling products and services meant to make life so much better, if not downright perfect. Darcy finds herself just a tad addicted to the SO’s blog, titled Managed Perfection, but the more she gets to know the SO, the more she realizes the SO’s life isn’t really that perfect, after all.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Seidel is a wonderful writer. I’ve been a fan of hers for years. She has the ability to add just the right touch of humor to life’s more serious moments, and her characters are real human beings, dealing with real problems in very real, and not necessarily saintly, ways.

I also ran smack into myself on the pages of “Keep Your Mouth Shut.” I, too, had been just a tad addicted to a blog intended, first and foremost, to sell the author’s services, and for a time, like Darcy, I believed her life was just as perfect as her blog entries made it seem.

Eventually, I realized that, of course, her life had to seem perfect. She had to sell herself first if she wanted to sell her services, and how better to do that than to hold herself up as the perfect example of how beneficial her services could be? Take one of my classes and add more focus to your life…just like I’ve done. Attend one of my events and network with important people…just like I’ve done. Sign up for 12 months of one-on-one sessions, and a year from now, you will have also tapped into your inner genius.

It’s a given that fantasy sells better than reality…the fantasy of finally getting a good night’s sleep if you buy that $$$ mattress; the fantasy that providing a favored brand of beer will make you the life of the party. Those fantasies I've recognized immediately.

Took me a little longer, but with the help of a good book (and, yes, a therapist who is extremely astute), I’ve seen my nemesis blog for the fantasy it is, as well. Neither good nor bad, it is a carefully edited, decidedly upbeat slice of someone’s life intended to get folks to pay good money for the services she provides. It is a part of her story, but not the ups-and-downs, warts-and-all story that makes up the real life we all live, no matter what we’d like other people to believe.

I'm a Burner...are you?

“…judge not, and neither condemn, the people and events being placed before you by life, but rest well in the awareness that you, yourself, have drawn them to you, that you might fulfill life’s potential, its promise, and its purpose.” ---from Happier than God by Neale Donald Walsch

The Man burns tonight. I won’t be there, but I was on the Playa a few years ago, and once a Burner, always a Burner…or so I’ve been told.

If you’re not familiar with Burning Man, check out www.burningman.com. If you are, then you’re probably a Burner, too, or would like to be.

Burning Man 2004 was one of the most interesting experiences I’ve ever had. The art installations were amazing. The art cars – aka mutant vehicles – were colossal in size and scope. The music and motion continued non-stop, languid during the heat of the day, rousing and raucous into the night. We were graced with a full moon most of the week, and the dust storms were few and far between. I walked among 40,000+ strangers and felt safer than anywhere I’d ever been, and I saw my first, and to date only, shooting star. It was time-out-of-mind magical, beginning to end.

Yes, lots of wild and crazy people of all ages, backgrounds and beliefs show up on the Playa in northern Nevada every Labor Day weekend for Burning Man, but the ones I met were regular folks. Mostly acquaintances of my traveling companion’s son, they lived in the San Francisco Bay area or Coos Bay, Oregon, worked at real jobs, and loved to have fun with their families. They not only shared their camp site with us, but also generously invited us to join them for dinner several nights.

Never one to rough it of my own free will, I slept on an air mattress in a tent for more than a week and did without a TV, newspaper, Internet, cell phone, flush toilet, shower or shampoo for nine days straight. How did I stay sane? I brought lots of books to read, my trusty journal and Wet Wipes, in the BIG tub!

Did I have a good time? Oh, yeah…but it wasn’t all sweetness and light. Life experiences rarely are. In fact, Burning Man 2004 was fraught with all sorts of uh-oh moments...kind of like an aha moment, only not as uplifting. I can’t say I was paying nearly enough attention at the time, but in hindsight, always 20/20, there were some really good lessons to be learned.

For example…never, ever, agree to split the cost of a three-week cross-country trip with someone you’ve known only a couple of months, and if you do, make sure you and your traveling companion each ante up half the anticipated expenses BEFORE you hit the road.

If you don’t know the person responsible for providing all of the food and beverages (cost to you = $200 upfront) for a 10-day camping trip out in the middle of nowhere, make sure you bring at least some food and some beverages of your own…just in case. Litchis soaked in vodka do not a meal make. Although they are quite good, and after you’ve eaten a half dozen or so, you're no longer quite so upset that there’s nothing else on that night’s menu.

Pack you patience, but never, ever, suffer in silence. Sleeping in the open bed of a small truck is acceptable for one night, but not two. Stop gazing at your navel and help me put up the tent! Missing a promised departure time by an hour or two is understandable. Missing a promised departure time by 12+ hours after 9 days without a shower or a shampoo? Can you spell hissy fit? Having your request for a night in Vegas ignored, then being the one to pay big bucks at a rundown motel in a two-stoplight town with Burger King the only dining option? Does anybody have a baseball bat I can borrow?

Not exactly stellar moments, but moments that served as the first of many catalysts I'd needed to take a look at my life, at how I valued myself and all I had to offer, and make some long-overdue changes.

Burning Man 2004 was the beginning of an important journey for me, a one-of-a-kind experience that opened my eyes in surprising ways. Since the fall of 2004, I completed my 20th published novel. I was hired for my first “real” job in 25 years as a reporter for the Observer Newspapers, which led to my job as feature writer and graphic artist at the Tribune Newspapers, which led to the job I have now, the best job I’ve ever had - a job that gives meaning and purpose to my life.

Maybe I would have gotten to where I am today in another way, but I’m sure glad Burning Man 2004 was “placed before me.” It was a real trip!